that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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