sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
