Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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