tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize