I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my vagina gasped.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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