Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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