Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
