He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
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Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
this will be a night to untag.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
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I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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