I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i just made my gag reflex go away.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
