you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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