I cockslap morals
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
