I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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