just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
