All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
