Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
