All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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