what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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