we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
