whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
