what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
