My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
