At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
