He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
wow bdsm is so cute
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize