So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
