He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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