I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
