I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Randomize
