she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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