If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
