We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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