Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
