I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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