She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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