Im at strip club and am horny
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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