marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
