Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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