She is in my trunk
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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