i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
