well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
