Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
