what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
