he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
