hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
