Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
