Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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