Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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