i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
