Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
