Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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