I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
it glows. i had to have it.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
