Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Randomize
