Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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