I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Randomize
