How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
