: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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