I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
