Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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