is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
