it hurts more in the daytime
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
